thetadpoles.com

What is it with becoming a parent that screws with our sense of normalcy? One day you wake up and your daily routine is a thing of the past only to be replaced with the crazy baby one.

• 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep is a prize. 8 hours is the jackpot. (Adult sleep not the twins)
• I put my coffee in an insulated mug now for 2 reasons. 1: Someone tends to want to knock it over. 2: I rarely got a chance to drink a whole cup of coffee while it was hot. With the insulated mug I have a good 4 hours to finish that FIRST cup of joe.
• My standards are slipping. If Derby eats a snap pea crisp or fried zucchini from Carls Jr I consider it a vegetable. I haven’t gone so far as to call ketchup a veggie serving, we’ll leave that to the public school lunch.
• I wipe snot off their faces with my shirt if no kleenex is in site.
• Before kids the thought of cleaning poop balls or puke out of the carpet was disgusting. These days it is just a fact of life.
• Don’t remember the last movie we saw in the theatre. We keep saying we’ll go see one and we have people who offer to watch the twins, we just never seem to make it.
• A trip to Costco may require naps for everyone after.
• Speaking of Costco, we have fed the kids samples and called it a meal. (I cringe thinking of how bad that sounds)
• I always seem to be 5 minutes late to everything
• The backseat of our car is a disaster. Toys, books and crumbs are everywhere. Though when you are in traffic and they are both screaming I keep tossing snacks back there till they quiet down.
• If I’m feeling sad I’ll grab a baby to snuggle in our bed. Sleep training be damned.
• Every room in our house has some evidence of the twins. I’m not talking a photo or memento, I’m talking about toys, books, shredded tissue paper, socks and sippy cups. How do these things migrate everywhere? I found a board book in our bathtub. Loen was washing her baby with a used dryer sheet. I’m losing the battle.
• The mundane things get me down. 15 minutes to make them a healthy breakfast, 15 minutes for them to eat & throw said breakfast, another 15 minutes to clean them up and their highchairs and the floor. Only to sigh and think I have to do it again in 3 hours.
• Tadd thinks it is wrong but I will open a box of crackers to keep the kids quiet while I shop. The last time I took the twins to Trader Joes (I usually just take Loen while Derby is at therapy. One is SO much easier than two) I had Loen in the cart and Derby in a backpack. He decided to hold my hair like the reins of a horse, pulling and laughing. That got Loen going who wanted to stand in the cart and play with Derby all while I’m trying to buy some milk and freeze dried strawberries. We’re quite the circus attraction. And if I hear “You really have your hands full” paired with that look, you know the not nice look, the look of “your kids are out of control” I’m going to scream.

I love them more than anything, I really do but they are a LOT of work. More work than when I was PAID to work.