While the twins struggle in the NICU, Hava and I struggle outside the NICU. Today marks 84 days, 12 weeks, since Hava was initially admitted into the hospital. During that time, we have experienced lows that I can’t comprehend, let alone explain, as well as some highs, but not like the ones that we are hoping for in the future. There have also been a lot of so-so days, which were initially good, but have begun to kind of go the way of the down days as time drags by. Days that should not be hard for us end up being hard. Today was one of them for me.
The babies are doing ok. Loen is recovering from her eye surgery and was extubated today. She was initially just put on the high flow nasal cannula, but was having some issues with that, so they ended up putting her on CPAP again. Hava told me that she was pretty upset about having the tubes shoved way up her nose again and that she tried to pull them out. Fortunately, she didn’t have to stay on CPAP very long and was able to get switched back to the nasal cannula this afternoon. Derby has had some apnea and bradycardia spells and ended up being put on CPAP today as well. And he still has it. And he is not very happy about it. Our little fat man has tried to pull the tubes out and cries about it every time he wakes up.
Thanks to everybody that does the best they can to make our hard days not so hard for us. It really means a lot to know that we have support to help us get through this trying time. Also, thanks to everybody that has shown patience and understanding for our situation. People often tell us “I don’t know how you are dealing with it.” Well, we don’t really know how to deal with it. In fact, it sometimes seems like we are not dealing with it very well. But we just try to get through the day and hope that the next is better.
13 responses so far ↓
1 Holly Maudsley // Jan 6, 2008 at 1:13 am
I wish I had something magical to say to perk you up, but everything sounds trite. You are surviving, by putting one foot in front of the other each day. You are strong, and you are dealing with it. One day, this will all be a blur. God only gives us as much as we can handle, and you were chosen to have these babies and struggles. Because you are strong enough. Weaker people get easy, full-term babies.
Hug them tight!
Holly
2 Dee, Andy, Matt, Andrew, & John // Jan 6, 2008 at 7:53 am
Hang in there, Tadd. I know there are many happy days ahead . . . just plow through these so-so days as best you can. You have been blessed with two beautiful babies and family and friends who love and support you. XOXO D
3 helen // Jan 6, 2008 at 8:52 am
i know you do not know me but both of you seem like i great people . both you have throught hell and back. the babiies are so cute . oh i am old friend doug garyer . i have been check just every day . god bless you both helen
4 Mom // Jan 6, 2008 at 10:10 am
Hey Pole. Remember these two crystal glasses are half full – it’s just taking a little extra time to fill them, but it will be worth it. Hugs and kisses to all of you.
5 SALLIE-BA // Jan 6, 2008 at 10:27 am
Tadd and Hava,
I have often gone on line to see how you and the twins are doing-as I’m sure many have. I am sorry I have not let you know how proud I am of all of you. With all that science has done I can’t believe we can’t send a hug through E-MAIL.
My heart and prayers are with you.
6 Tracie and John // Jan 6, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Your journey may seem daunting, but you are never alone, focus on what is good and more of it will come.
Love, T
7 Jill Schelke-Terrill // Jan 6, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Sending you positive thoughts! Tadd and Hava, you are amazing and you will continue to be so. Loen and Derby are amazing and have made significant progress. I continue to pray for them and you. Jill
8 Kay // Jan 7, 2008 at 4:53 am
Tadd-Hava
May God bless you two and your beautiful babies! Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. You’ve got to be exhausted and scared especially sometimes more than others. You guys are doing a remarkable job! We’re very proud of you! Just know that our hearts and prayers are always with you ~day and night- 24/7~K
9 chad and kristen demura // Jan 7, 2008 at 11:08 am
tadd and hava
we continue to think about you and pray for your each day. The pictures are beautiful. The babies have come such a long way over the last 2 months, it is amazing.
love
kristen and chad
10 Carol Walsh // Jan 7, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Dear Tadd and Hava,
You both are remarkable individuals. You may not feel that way right now, but when you sit back and think of all you have been through, you are more than remarkable. Not too many people that can stay on a roller coaster ride for eighty some days and still get up and face another day, knowing that they have to get back on again. You both are truly an inspiration. Hold each other tight and before you know it all four of you will be home. Love and prayers, Carol
11 Uncle John // Jan 7, 2008 at 3:06 pm
You guy’s are something else. When those two babys grow up their going to be tough and mean. I’m going to be a good granduncle to them so when anyone messes with me I’ll sic those two on them. That will be fun to see.
Love, John
12 Caleb // Jan 7, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Hi guys. Hang in there. I was a preemie myself and I’ve heard the stories from my folks..So, I can relate and really feel for what you must be going through. Much love and optimism in your direction. -CP
13 Larry and Joan // Jan 12, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Tadd and Hava
You have beautiful babies and we don’t know how you find the time to keep the pictures and comments on this site.
We continue to follow their progress and you already are awesome parents.
We continue to pray for all of you .
Leave a Comment