I started this post at 2 AM after I dropped off some milk to the NICU but at the last moment RIGHT before I was going to add pictures and post, I deleted it. I have no clue how I did it. I was so upset but realized it was a sign that I was too exhausted to be doing anything else and should go to sleep. An example of how tired I am: I dozed off when I got up to pee last night. My head just nodded down, I wasn’t asleep in the bathroom for hours or anything. I kept thinking how much energy it was going to take to get up, wash my hands then get back into bed. That’s pretty bad when getting off the toilet sounds exhausting. Like Tadd had said before the twins have been stable, I am the one starting to fall apart. Sleep deprivation, hormone changes, etc…. Last night I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. I should apologize now if I seem standoffish to anyone over the next couple of weeks!
If you read the previous post you will see the little joke I played on Tadd. He has been a little jealous that I had been able to do certain things before him, like touch Loen. Yesterday while Tadd was helping his Dad get home from the hospital I was in the NICU with the babies. The nurse asked if I would like to wipe off Loen’s lips with a wet cloth while she changed her diaper. I was so excited. I delicately dabbed at the left over dried blood on her lips. Then the nurse came over and did a big swipe. I guess I didn’t have to be so gentle, but I am afraid to hurt them! When I told Tadd what I got to do he immediately wanted to call dibs on one of the twins when it came time to hold them. He wants to be the first to do something before me. Later that day they asked if I wanted to wipe Derby’s lips off. I told Tadd he could do it. I didn’t want to be a lip wiping hog. We need to remember this when they are around two years old and no one wants to change their diaper.
UPDATES!
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Loen: She is my feisty one. The nurses have been asking me if she was so busy in the womb. They are surprised when I tell them Derby was the wild one and Loen was usually mellow. They have switched roles. The twins are on TPN (total parenteral nutrition) which gives them all the nutrients they need via IV since they aren’t nursing. Yesterday they added lipids to the mix so they should start to pack on some weight. The respiratory therapist said she has been breathing over her ventilator. A little bit is good but too much can use much needed calories required for growing. We were narrating her thoughts yesterday: “Ventilator? I don’t need no stinkin vent!” Then they changed out her linen and weighed her. Oh that made her mad. She was kicking her leg, arching her back and turned red. When they finished they were arranging her in her little nest and tried to move her left arm from her face to her chest. She immediately put it right back to where she had it. She knows what she wants. Her labs are looking better and her WBC’s are coming down. They are still high but there is an improvement. No one has needed dopamine for their blood pressure. She is the only girl surrounded by 3 boys. She is my little princess.
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Derby: My wild one has turned into my lazy one.He acts perfectly content to lie around and let the ventilator do all the breathing for him. The respiratory therapist called this “riding the vent”. They adjusted his settings to make him work a little bit. When I went in at 2 am to drop off breast milk he was doing much better. They set the ventilator to do 26 respirations and he was breathing in around 36 times a minute. Tadd and I went in around 9pm and we were talking to him and got to touch him a little bit. When we were talking to him his respirations went up some and his blood pressure stayed stable. I take that as good sign he knew we were there. The PICC line did not get placed yesterday so maybe today.
I am just fascinated by Loen’s hands
I wonder what he is dreaming about:
Tadd wiping Derby’s mouth
Loen is MAD they are moving her around!
Derby’s little chicken feet
Loen’s feet:
14 responses so far ↓
1 souther // Oct 28, 2007 at 1:36 pm
sounds like Loen inherited your stubborness…Derby’s feet look all tiny and delicate, but I remember feeling those things kicking. He’s totally faking it with this whole peaceful act.
2 Grandma Lavon // Oct 28, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Hava and Tadd, Hope you keep your website & blogging going after you both are so busy changing diapers (arguing “no, it’s your turn!”); feeding them (”no, I pump — you feed!”); dressing them (”don’t you dare put that on my boy”); going out for a walk to get some peace & quiet (”you’re what?!?!!) Of couse you two won’t argue … just keep-on-blogging. Love, love, love to my new gr. grandbabies
3 Grandma Lavon // Oct 28, 2007 at 2:44 pm
P.S. I love how Loen’s little feet are so much smaller than Derby’s. Bet she will be petite like you, Hava.
4 Lori // Oct 28, 2007 at 8:43 pm
So amazing they are so little… your fingers are the size of mine in the pictures… so in comparison these babies are oso small!
So amazing your collective strength… I applaud you for your ability to be so strong… I can only imagine how difficult this must be…
So fun to read Grandma Lavon’s comments!
We’re all keeping the faith and praying for you!
L
5 Tona and John Bartels // Oct 29, 2007 at 5:42 am
The babies look soo beautiful - I still can’t believe they are here! We continue to keep your tiny family in our thoughts and prayers - ladies from my work have enjoyed reading your blog as well. Take care! Tona and John.
6 Jill (Schelke) Jeung // Oct 29, 2007 at 8:56 am
Hi All,
I check the site everyday and am so happy every thing is going well. We will keep all of you in our thought. The babies are just adorable. Say Hi to Tamie for me, if she is still out there. I am such a dolt. I just realized today that I could send you a note from this site. Oh well, we all cannot be tech say. Anyway, take care of yourselves and your little sweethearts.
Love
Jeff and Jill
7 Tracie and John // Oct 29, 2007 at 9:27 am
The tadpoles look perfect. Actually I think Derby’s feet look like Tadd’s, especially the toes.
Loen hands are amazing, I predict she will be a concert pianist or a ballerina (don’t know what that has to do with her hands)
You were all mentioned at church yesterday…the prayers are just flowing your way.
Love, Aunt T and UJ
8 Jeff Little // Oct 29, 2007 at 9:59 am
Wow, they look great. Seeing the pics on here really put their size in perspective. Someone here at work just had a boy who was just over 4lbs and the people I work with were commenting on how small that was. I told them they hadn’t seen anything yet and showed them the twins here on the website. Take care and know that Ames and I are thinking of all of you.
9 Holly Maudsley // Oct 29, 2007 at 10:15 am
Thanks for the updates - Loen and Derby are beautiful! When you get a chance, slip Tad’s wedding ring around their ankle or wrist for a photo op. It’ll be a good picture to show perspective later on. As far as holding them - you’ll LOVE kangaroo care. That was my favorite part of the NICU experience. Keep up the great work!
Holly
10 sarah sabatini // Oct 29, 2007 at 10:25 am
Grandma’s comment was SO funny OH MY! the babies defintly take after you both. similar personalities. Im glad it is quite on the home front…….. love you
11 SIS // Oct 29, 2007 at 10:29 am
okay, I’m sorry but Derby is cursed with my feet. I can’t belive how much they look like mine. I think me and Derby are going to have alot of bonding time. And Loen too, just her feet are fancy cute.
12 Joan Lisse // Oct 29, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Your babies are so dear!
I hope you can get the rest you need today, Hava. Even if you cannot fall asleep when you want to, just try to lie back for a while, close your eyes, and replenish some of the energy you need.
Sending each one of you strong thoughts~~
Joan
13 gail pankratz // Oct 29, 2007 at 3:12 pm
question: how could a grandmother know the word “blogging” ? that is amazing!
as are your petite children. Hold it together Hava, when you get home, it will be hard to leave your babies. how far is it to the hospital from where you live?
Keep up the good work,
your kids are on the prayer chain at the Presbyterian church here in BA
gail
14 Michelle, Brent and Grant // Oct 30, 2007 at 11:48 am
just so you know, i almost bit brent’s head off at the dinner table in front of both my parents and his that first week after delivering Grant….all because he said, “I want you to lay down and get some rest”…totally hormones!! It’s crazy…i was crying over everything. Give it a couple of weeks to normalize. You guys are doing AMAZING!!! I’m going to start calling you the milk momma!!
Kisses to those precious babies of yours,
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