thetadpoles.com

It is 2:45 am and I just got back from dropping off some breast milk to the NICU. I am remarkably awake at the moment.They have me on a pumping schedule of every 3 hours. At first the nurse said if I miss some in the middle of the night it is fine because it is better if I get some rest. Well last night the milk started to come in, and I awoke at 1:30 AM and KNEW I had to pump. Yesterday I laughed as the lactation consultant told me I shouldn’t pump more than the twins can use, since once they defrost the milk any unused portion will have to be thrown away. Considering the fact that the doctor told me yesterday that they might try Derby on 1/2 a teaspoon of breast milk on Monday a lot is going to have to be discarded. My body seems to have this milk thing down as it is the 3rd day and I’m getting 5 ounces per pumping session. I feel like I could feed the WHOLE NICU.

The babies looked beautiful this morning. It is so quiet at this time so I just hovered over their incubators and stared. The twins have wonderful nurses this shift. All of their nurses have been good, but these two have been especially considerate. Maybe because I was an emotional mess last night. I know my hormones are all over the place but I think I was crying because I ACTUALLY GOT TO TOUCH LOEN! My hands were shaking so bad and I couldn’t stop crying but I finally got to touch my little girl. Before the doctor was saying things like “your son” or “your daughter” and it felt weird because it has been so hard to connect with the twins, but last night was like a bonding breakthrough. It was only for a couple of seconds because they didn’t want the humidity to escape from the incubator while I had the little port hole open but it was wonderful. After that I had to sit on the wheelchair and have my mom wheel me back to my room. I was emotionally drained. As I was coming out of the NICU I ran into Tadd. He had gone out to dinner with Dee and Andy and was just coming back. When I told him what happened he looked excited. I went back to my room while Tadd went to say goodnight to the babes. They were both a little more stable last night hence the reason we all got to touch them just for a moment. Photographic proof of the historic event:

Me holding Loen’s hand for the first time:

Tadd holding Loen’s hand for the first time:

Me and Derby:

Tadd and Derby:

My mom was able to touch Derby for the first time:

A rare shot of Loen’s face. She has Tadd’s eyelashes:

Updates:

• Loen:

  Her white blood cell count (WBC) came down from 122,800 to 89,000. Still high but it looks like she is fighting the infection. The hematologist decided against doing the full blood replacement, but will continue to evaluate her. She is off of her dopamine right now but has needed some supplemental oxygen. Not a lot just a little to help her along. She has lost a little of the water weight and her hands and feet look less puffy. They told us both of the twins were going to get PICC lines (peripherally inserted central catheter - an IV line that can stay for weeks at a time. It is thread through a vein and ends at the entrance to the heart. It is a good way to quickly get medications and fluids to the babies when they need them). They decided to hold off Loen’s till her WBC’s look better. Her blood pressure was a little more stable than yesterdays. Her nurse said she is dying to give her a bath because she still has little crusty bits left over from birth. I cant wait to see them do that!

• Derby:

  They tried to get the PICC line in him this afternoon but unfortunately it did not take. They were able to get it into his arm (how they were able to get it into his microscopic veins I’ll never know) but once it got to his chest it started to curl under and they couldn’t advance it anymore. So they stopped and will try again today. He still has the umbilical lines but they have a higher risk for infection and need to be replaced with the PICC line. Hopefully all goes well with that today. Both of the twins got blood transfusions yesterday because they were removing so much blood for tests they had to replace it. Chest xrays also looked fine today for both. So no news is good to us so far. The nurse said she usually changes his linens at 8pm so we might be able to help her tonight. It sounds like such a tiny thing but I’m excited at the prospect of doing anything with them.

They will do the 3 day brain ultrasound this morning. Were hoping for a negative result. It is going to be hard to wait for the results till this afternoon but the doctor told me last night that they did not have any big shifts in blood pressure which would usually be a sign of a brain bleed.

In other news it will be a Meemaw weekend (both of the Grandma’s want to be be called Meemaw. We are going to have to call them Meemaw L (for my mom, Lisa) and Meemaw T (for Tadd’s mom, Tamie). My mom flew out the day after the twins birth and Tadd’s mom arrives tomorrow for a 2 week stay. The twins are going to have so much love (not to mention a million pictures taken) this weekend.

I should go to bed now but I realized I have to be up in 30 minutes anyways to pump. Guess I’ll just look at pictures of my little ones…